Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
