I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
