why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
