He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
