I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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