he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
