Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
