Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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