Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
