Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
