so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
