And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
