Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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