He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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