please come you make the beer taste better
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize