Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
