I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
