"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
