What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
