I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
