everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
