Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
