Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
