The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
