worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
