My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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