drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
oh god was she eating orange peels again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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