never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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