If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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