Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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