I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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