Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
