I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize