Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize