I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
