Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He felt like a one man threesome
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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