dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
