do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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