Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize