dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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