there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
