you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it because I queefed?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize