Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
nutella sex= disaster
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
