Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
