Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
