...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
