take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He shit in the fireplace
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize