I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
