Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
