pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
