marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
