I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
