i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
