Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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