It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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