sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize