you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
