Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
