Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
