GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
