I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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