I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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