If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just had sex on a roof
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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