Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
