I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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